going forward backwards

After that night of make up sex,we spent the entire weekend in bed. making love and fucking. i don't know which i like better,but i like both! we talked about everything. how she felt,how i felt. i was not one hundred percent upfront about telling my friends though. i told her with time.when in all honesty i do not plan on telling them,but then again isn't that deceiving my self?how long can i hide her?
besides that we had fun, she made me cook her jollof rice and stew. see this oyinbo o! she ate it with relish and made little comments like i cant wait to come to Africa if the food is this good...(that one i smiled while choking on my rice) but i humored her and said of course babes, when the time is right. i don't like it when she talks about the future in such a casual manner. i don't think she realizes the culture i come from will not even comprehend our relationship talk less of my mother,my father might be more accommodating,since we all know that his cousin is a closet queen, with his farce of a marriage.
back to the point, we settled everything and now we are just going to take things slow in regards to the public thing,till i can deal with the idea better. she was being very accommodating and understanding with the new terms of our relationship i must say and i felt bad because i know that i am making her go backwards in her life,all the things she has had to deal with and having reached a point in her life where she can be open about who she is and here i am making her revert to an early part in her life where her sexuality was a shameful thing to be hidden.i hate doing this to her,but it is also her choice,she could have always stayed away,but she chose to come back knowing all the issues she would have to deal with. i am not ready to rearrange my own life to satisfy her right now,as selfish as that sounds, its me looking out for me. gosh i sound so selfish....