my friends are beginning to "worry" about me, they haven't heard from me since i started seeing miss beautiful,they want to meet up with me and hear about this new "man" in my life. because apparently the only reason i would disappear from the face of the earth would be because i am getting laid.
HELP!
what am i supposed to tell them, "sweeties, i have been fucking a woman". i can just see the looks of horror on their faces plus that vain miss Latina would begin to think i want her! yuck!
anyway... whats a girl to do??? how do i tell my friends that my new lover is a female, or do i even bring it up?i guess i will blame it on work or lie....
these heifers aren't even wasting time they want to have lunch tomorrow or dinner whichever one is more convenient for me,they will even come to my part of town,see what girls would do for gist! waste gas money...... sigh
Monday, April 30, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
internal imbalance
i think i might be falling for her,its becoming more than just an adventure and becoming genuine feelings,
she is kind,intelligent and caring. she is beautiful both inside and outside.
i look at her and smile each time,the way her hair gets tangled in her lashes, the way her nose crinkles when she smiles, the little gap in her teeth, the way she bites her lower lips when she is thinking, the way she looks when she is doing work and has on her enormous glasses, the way she smells early in the morning, the smoothness of her skin,the blondish downy hairs on her back, the dimples at the top of her butt,everything about her makes me adore her and i know she adores me too.
The question is this,am i ready to take this to the next level. Am i prepared to deal with the repercussions of dating a woman in this narrow minded society?should i even care what others would think? my parents? my friends?people i socialize with? they all know i like men,so to them it would be "where is this coming from?"
caring for someone is not just based on their sex i have realized, it doesn't matter whether it is a man or a woman,as long as you are treated with respect and affection.i know i still find men very attractive but it is just this ONE woman that is driving me insane.
Can we date outside our norm and within our sex? does that make one gay/lesbian? i wont identify as a lesbian because i refuse to be defined by a name or placed in a box. i am a woman who is choosing to be in a relationship of sorts with another woman because this person makes me very happy,happier than any man else has ever made me. if this person happens to be a woman then that is alright with me,and if that offends anyone,then too bad.
she is kind,intelligent and caring. she is beautiful both inside and outside.
i look at her and smile each time,the way her hair gets tangled in her lashes, the way her nose crinkles when she smiles, the little gap in her teeth, the way she bites her lower lips when she is thinking, the way she looks when she is doing work and has on her enormous glasses, the way she smells early in the morning, the smoothness of her skin,the blondish downy hairs on her back, the dimples at the top of her butt,everything about her makes me adore her and i know she adores me too.
The question is this,am i ready to take this to the next level. Am i prepared to deal with the repercussions of dating a woman in this narrow minded society?should i even care what others would think? my parents? my friends?people i socialize with? they all know i like men,so to them it would be "where is this coming from?"
caring for someone is not just based on their sex i have realized, it doesn't matter whether it is a man or a woman,as long as you are treated with respect and affection.i know i still find men very attractive but it is just this ONE woman that is driving me insane.
Can we date outside our norm and within our sex? does that make one gay/lesbian? i wont identify as a lesbian because i refuse to be defined by a name or placed in a box. i am a woman who is choosing to be in a relationship of sorts with another woman because this person makes me very happy,happier than any man else has ever made me. if this person happens to be a woman then that is alright with me,and if that offends anyone,then too bad.
Monday, April 23, 2007
last night in the bay
San Francisco was amazing the hotel was spectacular, we ate at the finest restaurants, walked and shopped around china town, ferry building market place, of course the golden gate bridge and checked out the art and theater scene,rode the cable cars ate everything in sight,clothes shopping, hey i am a tourist,i knew she would rather do more "grown up/non touristy things" but i really wanted to see those things,so she gave in.
it ended up being wonderful. i had so much fun. the funny part of the trip was at the end after a delicious dinner on saturday, we were at a lounge enjoying our drinks and each others company, sort of making out, laughing and kissing, when these two guys walked over to us and introduced themselves. and began flirting in an overtly sexual manner! i thought it was hilarious, these fools really thought we were just trying to get attention from them and they were presenting their dicks on a sliver platter to fill the void in our "lesbian interactions" but Miss B got slightly irritated and told them we were not interested and that we were just trying to enjoy our evening. the bewildered look on their faces swiftly turned to disgust as they realized she was not kidding with them. one of them actually said "what a waste.how can it be sex? neither of you has a cock"
i guess having a penis is the only way to satisfy a woman.
we weren't going to let a couple of boozoos ruin our evening. we both got pretty tipsy, well i got drunk, we stumbled back up to our room for our last night in San Francisco to prove those idiots wrong. and i must say miss Beautiful was determined for me to never crave a penis again. because what she did to me that night......... hot damn.
it ended up being wonderful. i had so much fun. the funny part of the trip was at the end after a delicious dinner on saturday, we were at a lounge enjoying our drinks and each others company, sort of making out, laughing and kissing, when these two guys walked over to us and introduced themselves. and began flirting in an overtly sexual manner! i thought it was hilarious, these fools really thought we were just trying to get attention from them and they were presenting their dicks on a sliver platter to fill the void in our "lesbian interactions" but Miss B got slightly irritated and told them we were not interested and that we were just trying to enjoy our evening. the bewildered look on their faces swiftly turned to disgust as they realized she was not kidding with them. one of them actually said "what a waste.how can it be sex? neither of you has a cock"
i guess having a penis is the only way to satisfy a woman.
we weren't going to let a couple of boozoos ruin our evening. we both got pretty tipsy, well i got drunk, we stumbled back up to our room for our last night in San Francisco to prove those idiots wrong. and i must say miss Beautiful was determined for me to never crave a penis again. because what she did to me that night......... hot damn.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
off to her turf
we are going to San Francisco for the weekend. her idea. its our first time going out in public as a "couple" . In San Francisco we can hold hands and kiss each other in public without worrying who will see us.......well i worry who will see us. i am somewhat skeptical about the whole trip but she just called to tell me she would love for me to accompany her and give us a work/friend free zone to get to know each other much better,so i said yes,lord knows i need a break away from everything. so Friday i am taking a half day off work, i shall be back on Sunday with an update. i have been ordered to leave behind my laptop and phone. the phone i told her i just cant do.
be back in a couple days.
be back in a couple days.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
touch
stroking, kissing, stroking, caressing, licking, moaning, sucking, groaning, gripping, rubbing, sucking, biting, pushing,sweating,sticky,moist,warm, soft, tight, purring, screams, yelps, gyrating, pumping, grabbing, biting.
stroking, kissing, stroking, caressing, licking, moaning, sucking, groaning, griping, rubbing, sucking, biting, pushing,
sweaing, sticky, moist,warm, soft, tight, purr, screams, yelps, gyrating, pumping, grabbing, biting.
screaming, yelling, shouting, breathing, panting, eyes rolling, toes curling, fucking.
stroking, kissing, stroking, caressing, licking, moaning, sucking, groaning, griping, rubbing, sucking, biting, pushing,
sweaing, sticky, moist,warm, soft, tight, purr, screams, yelps, gyrating, pumping, grabbing, biting.
screaming, yelling, shouting, breathing, panting, eyes rolling, toes curling, fucking.
Monday, April 16, 2007
jumping on the caravan of lust
this woman is amazing,i have spent all my free time with her, meeting for late dinners and sneaking off to take long lunches to see her. initially we just spent it talking and getting to know each other better as friends but gradually as i grew more comfortable and began to trust her we began to get intimate, i guess she wasn't as adamant about waiting for me.
the chemistry is amazing and the passion is intoxicating, she takes me to heights of pleasure i have never experienced ever before, i sob with pleasure every time she touches me.
her lips, her hands.....her tongue.
this is insane,its like i cant believe this is happening to me, but i have decided to go for the ride,the pleasure is ridiculous. we are both insatiable, we can barely finish a meal before we end up gobbling each other on my floor or her floor or her bed or my bed.....
every time its different, she touches places that i didn't know exist. screams of ecstasy and euphoria fill the bedroom. all night she finds a new way of making me weak,this could become the best diet ever.
my body is her temple and hers is heaven. each night and morning we journey to these sacred places over and over and over and over again. this weekend we spent it underneath her crisp white sheets,rising out for the occasional meal and crawling back in. i am having so much fun,i have not even had time to think of the repercussions, if there are any.
her skin is unnaturally soft and smooth,but i guess i was so used to touching hairy and rough men,this delicate being is so exotic to me,now i see why men are obsessed with womens asses! hers is uhmmmmmmm delectable.....
i have barely noticed that she lacks a penis. this is too amazing,foreign,different and exhilarating
so yes, miss beautiful is here,here to stay.
the chemistry is amazing and the passion is intoxicating, she takes me to heights of pleasure i have never experienced ever before, i sob with pleasure every time she touches me.
her lips, her hands.....her tongue.
this is insane,its like i cant believe this is happening to me, but i have decided to go for the ride,the pleasure is ridiculous. we are both insatiable, we can barely finish a meal before we end up gobbling each other on my floor or her floor or her bed or my bed.....
every time its different, she touches places that i didn't know exist. screams of ecstasy and euphoria fill the bedroom. all night she finds a new way of making me weak,this could become the best diet ever.
my body is her temple and hers is heaven. each night and morning we journey to these sacred places over and over and over and over again. this weekend we spent it underneath her crisp white sheets,rising out for the occasional meal and crawling back in. i am having so much fun,i have not even had time to think of the repercussions, if there are any.
her skin is unnaturally soft and smooth,but i guess i was so used to touching hairy and rough men,this delicate being is so exotic to me,now i see why men are obsessed with womens asses! hers is uhmmmmmmm delectable.....
i have barely noticed that she lacks a penis. this is too amazing,foreign,different and exhilarating
so yes, miss beautiful is here,here to stay.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
The Pratt
In order to convince myself that i have not completely switched teams, i agreed to a date with one of our patrons, a revolting wealthy and significantly older man lets call him Mr Pratt.sigh...yes it has come to that. this man is older than my dad! agbaya, see him chasing a girl young enough to be his grandchild.but he had been chasing me for as long as i can remember. i am sorry but no amount of money would make me touch old balls..eww! but i caved and went out with him.... he sent his car to pick me up from my place. dinner was delicious,expensive and BORING........ gosh i nearly shoved the dessert fork up my nose..... he on the other hand wont stop yappering on and on,about how he wants to take care of me, doesn't want me to work anymore blah,blah,blah. can you sense my boredom?? in the middle of deciding whether the fork in nose or placing my face in the soup would put me out of my misery,
i received a text message from the delectable Miss Beautiful,
what are you doing right now?
i excused myself from the table, went to the ladies room to respond
Nothing,what are you doing?
a swift response from her.
why don't you come by my place for a late dinner, i made some halibut.....
without hesitation i responded
Be there in 30 mins
yes i know i am on a date,but i felt like drowning myself in my soup for crying out loud, i went back to the table, announced my exit.my excuse was lame, something about feeling ill. i promised a second date (as if!) he generously offered his car to take me back to my house.i declined, took a cab and headed to her place.
i received a text message from the delectable Miss Beautiful,
what are you doing right now?
i excused myself from the table, went to the ladies room to respond
Nothing,what are you doing?
a swift response from her.
why don't you come by my place for a late dinner, i made some halibut.....
without hesitation i responded
Be there in 30 mins
yes i know i am on a date,but i felt like drowning myself in my soup for crying out loud, i went back to the table, announced my exit.my excuse was lame, something about feeling ill. i promised a second date (as if!) he generously offered his car to take me back to my house.i declined, took a cab and headed to her place.
the last of the married arab
you know the best way to forget about someone and rinse them out of your system,is to start seeing someone else. so Mr Married Arab has been out of the picture because,he needs to focus on his wife and i need to focus on my own life. it wasn't going anywhere.
another thing i noticed about men,the less available you are to them the more desirable you become to them. this man,has been calling my phone incessantly. i don't answer,i don't have time for bullshit.
of course he decided to show up,in the middle of making a big sale,that i so desperately needed. and proceeded to make a scene! this man started crying and begging to talk to me!! what the hell??? i mean i was never mean to him,did not give him any parting words,i just did not return his calls. does that warrant such pathetic behavior?? i never let him hit it, so why is this punk embarrassing me at work?in front of potential clients, making me look bad??? i want to explode,but i remain calm, tell him to go into my office and wait there for me. slightly frazzled i succeed in selling the obscenely expensive painting.
Fuming i walk into my office and face the idiot, he starts telling me a sob story about his wife threatening to take his baby from him etc.
i listen,because he looks genuinely hurt and sad.
but why come to me?
because i care he says...
hmmmm strangely enough i do. i silently ask myself why do i allow myself to get so involved in other peoples lives and feel that i am their superwoman? especially when i am supposed to be angry at him and want him out of my office!
i go by him and rest his head on my chest, all of a sudden his hands are on my breasts,twiddling my nipples through my cotton blouse. i do not flip out. i have just realized that he is just an old dog,up to his old tricks. i gently move his hand away. tell him very softly."please never in your miserable life call me ever again.and spare yourself the embarrassment and do not show up at my work again".
I show him the door. and smile at his bewildered face as the door lands him a hot slap
another thing i noticed about men,the less available you are to them the more desirable you become to them. this man,has been calling my phone incessantly. i don't answer,i don't have time for bullshit.
of course he decided to show up,in the middle of making a big sale,that i so desperately needed. and proceeded to make a scene! this man started crying and begging to talk to me!! what the hell??? i mean i was never mean to him,did not give him any parting words,i just did not return his calls. does that warrant such pathetic behavior?? i never let him hit it, so why is this punk embarrassing me at work?in front of potential clients, making me look bad??? i want to explode,but i remain calm, tell him to go into my office and wait there for me. slightly frazzled i succeed in selling the obscenely expensive painting.
Fuming i walk into my office and face the idiot, he starts telling me a sob story about his wife threatening to take his baby from him etc.
i listen,because he looks genuinely hurt and sad.
but why come to me?
because i care he says...
hmmmm strangely enough i do. i silently ask myself why do i allow myself to get so involved in other peoples lives and feel that i am their superwoman? especially when i am supposed to be angry at him and want him out of my office!
i go by him and rest his head on my chest, all of a sudden his hands are on my breasts,twiddling my nipples through my cotton blouse. i do not flip out. i have just realized that he is just an old dog,up to his old tricks. i gently move his hand away. tell him very softly."please never in your miserable life call me ever again.and spare yourself the embarrassment and do not show up at my work again".
I show him the door. and smile at his bewildered face as the door lands him a hot slap
Thursday, April 12, 2007
busy busy bee
Sorry i havent been able to respond to your comments sweeties,been swamped with work,we have a new exhibit coming in at the gallery,oh and been preoccupied with a certain "ahem" somebody,will be back in a few days with updates.
ciao
ciao
let me stop fooling myself,i know exactly what i am doing,i do have free will, and i am choosing to let this woman explore my body,and here i am exploring hers as well. she is so sexy and all i can think of is touching her all over her body,feeling her soft skin, kissing every nook and cranny of her body.but at the same time i am nervous and afraid. what am i supposed to do? i mean the female anatomy is a mystery to me, i have one...but having another exquisite one in front of me is terrifying.... she senses my discomfort so she pulls me off the counter and leads me to the living room where she pushes me against the wall.....we barely made the couch..... she is intensely kissing me and touching me.
next thing my top is over my head and my bra is snapped off replaced by her eager and warm moist mouth, her tongue teasing my nipples to erection, sucking and licking my breasts, creating spasms all over my body. causing my panties to soak up.... she can tell how turned on i am yet she keeps on kissing and licking, gradually trailing down my stomach with her mouth giving me kisses that send shock waves through my body, light gentle kisses with her warm breath on me.i cling to the wall to support me in anticipation of where her head is leading... she kisses me through my lounge pants. my body begging her to just take them off...... but she refuses she keeps doing what she is doing teasing me and touching me,i almost orgasm.
it isn't fair i want her to put her tongue on me...... but she does not..... she comes back up and kisses my lips and then whispers "i don't want to rush you"
at this point, i want to be rushed!! how would you start on me like that and stop?
i whimper and my eyes plead with her to continue....
she said she felt like she was taking advantage of me,because she knew i wasn't ready for this to become more,and she wanted more from me than just that.... she wanted me to be sure, so that she could enjoy me knowing that i was hers....but she understood that was a huge decision....
at this point i wanted to die,i hadn't stopped longing for her, but i was gradually coming back to my senses and realizing that i was topless and right in my face was this sexy woman... i told her she would have to leave.............
next thing my top is over my head and my bra is snapped off replaced by her eager and warm moist mouth, her tongue teasing my nipples to erection, sucking and licking my breasts, creating spasms all over my body. causing my panties to soak up.... she can tell how turned on i am yet she keeps on kissing and licking, gradually trailing down my stomach with her mouth giving me kisses that send shock waves through my body, light gentle kisses with her warm breath on me.i cling to the wall to support me in anticipation of where her head is leading... she kisses me through my lounge pants. my body begging her to just take them off...... but she refuses she keeps doing what she is doing teasing me and touching me,i almost orgasm.
it isn't fair i want her to put her tongue on me...... but she does not..... she comes back up and kisses my lips and then whispers "i don't want to rush you"
at this point, i want to be rushed!! how would you start on me like that and stop?
i whimper and my eyes plead with her to continue....
she said she felt like she was taking advantage of me,because she knew i wasn't ready for this to become more,and she wanted more from me than just that.... she wanted me to be sure, so that she could enjoy me knowing that i was hers....but she understood that was a huge decision....
at this point i wanted to die,i hadn't stopped longing for her, but i was gradually coming back to my senses and realizing that i was topless and right in my face was this sexy woman... i told her she would have to leave.............
Monday, April 9, 2007
i see red
i see anger
i see rage
i see bitterness
i see unhappiness
i see depression
i see loneliness
i see hurt
i see rejection
i see pain
i see hatred
i see jealousy
i see malice
i see vindictiveness
i see wickedness
i see cruelty
i see violence
i see brutality
i see you
i see me
i see rage
i see bitterness
i see unhappiness
i see depression
i see loneliness
i see hurt
i see rejection
i see pain
i see hatred
i see jealousy
i see malice
i see vindictiveness
i see wickedness
i see cruelty
i see violence
i see brutality
i see you
i see me
a womans touch
i feel terrible for the way i ran out of miss beautiful's house. the look of disappointment on her face was overwhelming. but i was scared!scared of the feelings i was feeling.scared of her intoxicating smell,that heady scent of Chanel allure so close to me and her nipples grazing her shirt, her lips, her eyes, her hair, her beautiful body. After seeing her open up to me like that and telling me how she felt, all i wanted was to have her body on mine. that is why i ran,because i understand that not every feeling should be acted on. and at that moment i thought with my head.hence the running off.
well the next day, i felt even more terrible.i saw a text from her:
Sorry for scaring you away. I understand if you don't want to see me again. MB
i didn't reply,because i needed to clear my head about the situation. there were several questions, did i want to see her again?regardless of what could happen?
i buried myself with work and pushed her out of my head.
i knew that the grown up thing to do would be to call her and apologize,after all we could become friends.and my behavior was rude. But i still could not bring myself to answer her phone calls. what was i going to say?
i called her finally on saturday, i didnt want to put it off too long, surprisingly she wasn't angry at me for not calling her back or for running away instead she apologized for what she said.but i told her i was not offended and rather i should be the one apologizing for my rudeness. i invited her to my house for coffee. she asked,tonight? i replied yes,tonight. i promised her a mean cheesecake that i had picked up from this fabulous bakery by my house and gave her directions. as soon as i got off the phone i went around my apartment to tidy up and make sure everything was right for her visit...(what?i wanna make a good impression!)
she showed up looking beautiful as always and natural with no make up. once again she was torturing me by not wearing a bra underneath her tank top(what is it with her and no bras?damn!) and her yoga pants gripped her firm backside like an extra skin... i struggled to keep my eyes off her.she noticed this inner battle and i noticed a smirk on that perfect face....
i gave her a hug and welcomed her into my home. got her settled and went into the kitchen to prepare the coffee and slice the cake,all of a sudden i felt her behind me,i froze, she put her arms around my waist and buried her face in my hair and whispered "your hair smells great" i thanked her,still frozen to the same spot.she pushed my hair to one side and started her invasion on my neck,slowly and softly,causing goosebumps on my flesh. unleashing a flood. making my nipples hard. all thoughts of Mr Married Arab or any other man and inhibitions were flying out of my head. all i could focus on was how good her lips were on me. she is taller than me, and when she turned me around and lifted my face to hers i just gazed into her face and i knew then that there was nothing she could say at that moment that could stop me from kissing her. nothing that could convince me that i didn't want her. this was the moment i had been longing for since i first met her. i put my hands up into her hair and pulled her face down towards mine and kissed her, our lips melting into one and our tongues doing this primitive dance, softly at first and then more intensely,our bodies meshing together,she was so soft. it was beautiful. not nasty or trashy like those college girl on girl kisses.no, this was perfection. she grabbed me and lifted me up by my behind and placed me on the counter, kissing me and stroking my face, my shoulders and then she slipped her hands under my top.that's when i froze, what am i doing?
well the next day, i felt even more terrible.i saw a text from her:
Sorry for scaring you away. I understand if you don't want to see me again. MB
i didn't reply,because i needed to clear my head about the situation. there were several questions, did i want to see her again?regardless of what could happen?
i buried myself with work and pushed her out of my head.
i knew that the grown up thing to do would be to call her and apologize,after all we could become friends.and my behavior was rude. But i still could not bring myself to answer her phone calls. what was i going to say?
i called her finally on saturday, i didnt want to put it off too long, surprisingly she wasn't angry at me for not calling her back or for running away instead she apologized for what she said.but i told her i was not offended and rather i should be the one apologizing for my rudeness. i invited her to my house for coffee. she asked,tonight? i replied yes,tonight. i promised her a mean cheesecake that i had picked up from this fabulous bakery by my house and gave her directions. as soon as i got off the phone i went around my apartment to tidy up and make sure everything was right for her visit...(what?i wanna make a good impression!)
she showed up looking beautiful as always and natural with no make up. once again she was torturing me by not wearing a bra underneath her tank top(what is it with her and no bras?damn!) and her yoga pants gripped her firm backside like an extra skin... i struggled to keep my eyes off her.she noticed this inner battle and i noticed a smirk on that perfect face....
i gave her a hug and welcomed her into my home. got her settled and went into the kitchen to prepare the coffee and slice the cake,all of a sudden i felt her behind me,i froze, she put her arms around my waist and buried her face in my hair and whispered "your hair smells great" i thanked her,still frozen to the same spot.she pushed my hair to one side and started her invasion on my neck,slowly and softly,causing goosebumps on my flesh. unleashing a flood. making my nipples hard. all thoughts of Mr Married Arab or any other man and inhibitions were flying out of my head. all i could focus on was how good her lips were on me. she is taller than me, and when she turned me around and lifted my face to hers i just gazed into her face and i knew then that there was nothing she could say at that moment that could stop me from kissing her. nothing that could convince me that i didn't want her. this was the moment i had been longing for since i first met her. i put my hands up into her hair and pulled her face down towards mine and kissed her, our lips melting into one and our tongues doing this primitive dance, softly at first and then more intensely,our bodies meshing together,she was so soft. it was beautiful. not nasty or trashy like those college girl on girl kisses.no, this was perfection. she grabbed me and lifted me up by my behind and placed me on the counter, kissing me and stroking my face, my shoulders and then she slipped her hands under my top.that's when i froze, what am i doing?
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Date with the beauty
Dinner with Miss Beautiful was amazing! after a hectic day at work, I was looking forward to seeing her . I rushed to close the gallery and go home to change and freshen up,i know its not a date ,but i wanted to look pretty,i was in black work pants, and a purple blouse,black patent heels, with my hair pulled back in a bun... too severe,i wanted to soften my look for my dinner. so i went home, washed off my makeup,put on just mascara and lip gloss. put on a simple dress that hugged in all the right places, put some simple sandals on,let my hair down,i had gone for a lunch time blow dry so it was looking pretty good. gave myself one last look in the mirror before dashing out,i was almost late. as i got to the restaurant, i made a point to check out the cute valet guy,(hey i needed to reassure myself of my heterosexuality!)
i walked in and told the hostess i was meeting miss beautiful,she took me towards our table and there she was.. in all her flawlessness.. so beautiful,she stood up and came towards me to kiss me on the cheek, and pulled out the chair for me(?). wow,she looked great. that kind of effortless chic. She was wearing cigarette trousers, a crisp white shirt with a few top buttons open tucked into them and no bra.. i felt her soft breasts brush against me when she kissed me. she wore no jewelry and her hair looking as luscious as ever.she wore very light makeup, lord she looked great. i was in awe.
well,after i got over my awe and managed to pick up my bottom jaw off the floor. i was able to focus and the meal was Delicious,conversation was amazing,we had so much in common,she worked in a large pr firm, and i could gather she was quite successful,everything about her oozed with class. we laughed,joked. it was awesome. in fact it was the best date ever. it wasn't difficult because she was a woman. There were certain things that we automatically understood about the other just for the fact that as women there are certain experiences that are universal. lots of jokes and laughs,hmmm this wasnt so bad,we were hitting it off like old friend. when the bill came i automatically whipped out my card because, with all my lady friends we split the bill when we eat out,right? well, miss beautiful took the cheque and said don't worry,i did ask you out didn't i. (uhmmm ok?) as we walked out of the restaurant,i looked at her and smiled and told her thank you for the lovely meal and i genuinely had a wonderful time, she told me she would like me to come back to her place to have a drink and just chill since she lived not too faraway... i agreed we waited for the valet to bring our cars. and i drove behind her. she lived in a very luxurious condo,tastefully furnished, with great paintings in all the rooms,as she gave me a tour, i was impressed with the simplicity. we settled in her living room with a bottle of very good wine, the lights were dimmed and there was some Count Basie playing in the background, we sat on her couch, chatting forever, i got loose and of course i got bold. i guess with all the alcohol in me
i asked the most obvious question "are you a lesbian"
she laughed.."yes i am,does that bother you?"
i said "no,no,not at all. i was just curious"
i looked down at my wine glass and was paying too much attention to the contents in an effort to avoid looking at her,
i could feel her eyes on me,and i felt her move closer to me, she lifted my face up and gazed at me..
she said "i know you are not a lesbian,but i can not help but feel a certain chemistry between both of us. Luminous,i have been thinking about you. i do not want to scare you off by coming on too strong,but i really can not stop myself . i risk hurting myself."
(silence)
to be honest i didn't know what to say,what do you say after that? i mean by admitting i found her attractive, was i admitting to myself that i might be bi-sexual or bi-curious? i decided to keep my mouth shut.all of a sudden i felt uncomfortable,all i wanted was to get out of there. i mumbled an excuse,something about an early day. and scrambled out of there as fast as i could.
i walked in and told the hostess i was meeting miss beautiful,she took me towards our table and there she was.. in all her flawlessness.. so beautiful,she stood up and came towards me to kiss me on the cheek, and pulled out the chair for me(?). wow,she looked great. that kind of effortless chic. She was wearing cigarette trousers, a crisp white shirt with a few top buttons open tucked into them and no bra.. i felt her soft breasts brush against me when she kissed me. she wore no jewelry and her hair looking as luscious as ever.she wore very light makeup, lord she looked great. i was in awe.
well,after i got over my awe and managed to pick up my bottom jaw off the floor. i was able to focus and the meal was Delicious,conversation was amazing,we had so much in common,she worked in a large pr firm, and i could gather she was quite successful,everything about her oozed with class. we laughed,joked. it was awesome. in fact it was the best date ever. it wasn't difficult because she was a woman. There were certain things that we automatically understood about the other just for the fact that as women there are certain experiences that are universal. lots of jokes and laughs,hmmm this wasnt so bad,we were hitting it off like old friend. when the bill came i automatically whipped out my card because, with all my lady friends we split the bill when we eat out,right? well, miss beautiful took the cheque and said don't worry,i did ask you out didn't i. (uhmmm ok?) as we walked out of the restaurant,i looked at her and smiled and told her thank you for the lovely meal and i genuinely had a wonderful time, she told me she would like me to come back to her place to have a drink and just chill since she lived not too faraway... i agreed we waited for the valet to bring our cars. and i drove behind her. she lived in a very luxurious condo,tastefully furnished, with great paintings in all the rooms,as she gave me a tour, i was impressed with the simplicity. we settled in her living room with a bottle of very good wine, the lights were dimmed and there was some Count Basie playing in the background, we sat on her couch, chatting forever, i got loose and of course i got bold. i guess with all the alcohol in me
i asked the most obvious question "are you a lesbian"
she laughed.."yes i am,does that bother you?"
i said "no,no,not at all. i was just curious"
i looked down at my wine glass and was paying too much attention to the contents in an effort to avoid looking at her,
i could feel her eyes on me,and i felt her move closer to me, she lifted my face up and gazed at me..
she said "i know you are not a lesbian,but i can not help but feel a certain chemistry between both of us. Luminous,i have been thinking about you. i do not want to scare you off by coming on too strong,but i really can not stop myself . i risk hurting myself."
(silence)
to be honest i didn't know what to say,what do you say after that? i mean by admitting i found her attractive, was i admitting to myself that i might be bi-sexual or bi-curious? i decided to keep my mouth shut.all of a sudden i felt uncomfortable,all i wanted was to get out of there. i mumbled an excuse,something about an early day. and scrambled out of there as fast as i could.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
phone call with the beauty
I called Miss Beautiful today!!! i gave myself the biggest pep talk before i did it, i mean no biggie right,just girls hanging out...well if that's it,why am i feeling nervous about calling her? the conversation went like this
Miss Beautiful: hello?
Luminous: hello miss beautiful, this is luminous Nubian,i met you at xy party last weekend.
Miss Beautiful: i have been waiting for your phone call.
Luminous: oh....uhmmm... i have been busy with work,and......
Miss Beautiful: will you have dinner with me?tonight?
Luminous:uhm....let me check my schedule.(rummaging around handbag looking for imaginary schedule) oh, yes i am free for dinner on Friday...
Miss Beautiful:i don't think i can wait that long, i want to see you sooner.
Luminous: hmm let me see, i can do something on.............
Miss Beautiful:tomorrow. i will meet you at xy restaurant, at 7;30. (not a question.a statement)
Luminous:oh uhm alright. i will see you tomorrow then....
Miss Beautiful: i will see you then.(click)
ok,is it just me or did that sound like a date? maybe i am imagining things.
okay let me make one thing clear, i am not a lesbian.i have lesbian friends and they tell me i am as straight as they come. so why the hell am i feeling this way for another woman? i cant stop thinking about her. i didn't call her for a week because i was scared, scared of this attraction i was feeling. what is it with me and lusting after the forbidden. maybe its curiosity,maybe i am just looking for happiness in the most honest and pure form and i am willing to try whatever options?but damn! can i get a single MAN???! lol
like i said maybe i am overreacting and reading too much into her actions. i will wait till tonight and post the details of our "outing" it is not a date.
Miss Beautiful: hello?
Luminous: hello miss beautiful, this is luminous Nubian,i met you at xy party last weekend.
Miss Beautiful: i have been waiting for your phone call.
Luminous: oh....uhmmm... i have been busy with work,and......
Miss Beautiful: will you have dinner with me?tonight?
Luminous:uhm....let me check my schedule.(rummaging around handbag looking for imaginary schedule) oh, yes i am free for dinner on Friday...
Miss Beautiful:i don't think i can wait that long, i want to see you sooner.
Luminous: hmm let me see, i can do something on.............
Miss Beautiful:tomorrow. i will meet you at xy restaurant, at 7;30. (not a question.a statement)
Luminous:oh uhm alright. i will see you tomorrow then....
Miss Beautiful: i will see you then.(click)
ok,is it just me or did that sound like a date? maybe i am imagining things.
okay let me make one thing clear, i am not a lesbian.i have lesbian friends and they tell me i am as straight as they come. so why the hell am i feeling this way for another woman? i cant stop thinking about her. i didn't call her for a week because i was scared, scared of this attraction i was feeling. what is it with me and lusting after the forbidden. maybe its curiosity,maybe i am just looking for happiness in the most honest and pure form and i am willing to try whatever options?but damn! can i get a single MAN???! lol
like i said maybe i am overreacting and reading too much into her actions. i will wait till tonight and post the details of our "outing" it is not a date.
Monday, April 2, 2007
a strange attraction
it was one of those parties,beautiful people, wine and champagne flowing,great conversation, good music in the background,people mingling their bodies under the fairy lights by the pool,simple and chic. i was with friends chatting mindlessly about whatever topic came up, and then the hostess introduced us to her friend.i looked up and in front of me stood the most beautiful human being i had ever seen,that kind of beauty that radiates from the inside and reeks with the sweet aroma of sexual prowess, seductive dark eyes framed by heavy lashes and a regal nose.lips a natural bitten red,swollen and luscious. hair long wavy and dark, cheek bones sharp as a razor, skin flawless and tan,neck long and elegant without the strain of a necklace,my eyes dropped down towards the trouser clad legs that i could tell were strong and long,the arms lean and toned, and then the chest heaving with the most perfect breasts,perfect not too big but not too small... she looked at me and smiled, perfect small teeth. my goodness.....she is a woman.........but yet i am feeling this intense attraction for her. i try to stop myself...she joins the group and i just keep quiet while my friends bombard her with questions,where she moved from,what she did,etc,i just silently observed the grace and charm with which she replied,telling just enough without revealing too much....gradually the group dispersed as people went to mingle, i was left alone with her,at this point silence was no longer an option.she looks at me with those almost black eyes and i look back at her,and i see in that pit of darkness she feels the same way.no, i am imagining things, i make small talk and then she stops me and says "you are very beautiful" i am taken aback,because it wasn't said in the way another woman would say it,rather it was said in the way a lover would tell their beloved. i stuttered a thank you,too shy to look back up, she put her hand on my arm,soft gentle yet strong hands that promised more. "i would like to get to know you better,if you are alright with that?" i nodded. she gave me her phone number, maybe we could have lunch or something.....
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